Constellations.
Have no fear. Because no one else is more deserving.
the proletariat poetry factory
except you, my dear stars
this secret you must keep for me
as you watch us dance, pirouette happy;
and love for none but you to see
we find ourselves wherever we find ourselves.
I’ve learnt not to expect anything.
mega crushin’.
I’m so sorry, Judith Butler.
Yes, they’d probably hurt like crap after walking around in them for a few hours, but being able to tower over the kids I teach is really worth it. Plus, it’s such a classic.
Ache.
Today was not the best of days. I wish I was the same docile unassuming person I once was 10 years ago, but I’m not. I’ve become so cynical, argumentative, angry, and unhappy with the status quo that I almost didn’t recognize myself today. But that’s who I’ve become.
I am not proud of the way I reacted. And also incredibly sad that you didn’t understand where I was coming from. I wish we were both less selfish, less prideful, less hot-headed, less hurtful. I wish I was more patient, more forgiving, more open, more sensitive. But then, you see, then, I’d be this infuriatingly perfect person. And I’m not. I’m not perfect at all. I hope you see that now. I can’t live up to your expectations. Not anymore.
I honestly don’t know how to fix this.
wait, what
I have too much pent-up energy that words just tumble out like some rollercoaster about to meet its doom in a Final Destination movie. I scare myself sometimes by how intense I can be.
I need to learn how to (literally) keep calm and carry on. And maybe find a new hobby.
